Going through a divorce is never easy. It can be even harder for a Christian woman to go through the aftermath of divorce. Estimates are that about 40%-50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. There are a few things you can do as a Christian woman that will help you to get through this time.
Acknowledge the Grief
Divorce has always been a touchy topic among Christian communities. It’s typically ignored. It’s important that you speak about your grief. No one goes into marriage planning on getting divorced, but you do of course go into this new life with plans for your future. It’s important that you can mourn the loss of these future plans. Confide in family and friends, speak to a clergy member, or pray. Speak with a volunteer at an outside agency if you must but speak about it. Do not bury your feelings.
Face The Changes Head On
Divorcing can uproot your entire life. Among all of the new challenges, this may include a move. About 33% of people who rent their homes move every year. If you and your spouse shared a rental property, you or your spouse will be moving. In many cases, a family home that was a rental is no longer a viable option for a newly single spouse because it’s too expensive.
If you must move ask your church if there are any members that will volunteer to help. Consider asking the church groups directly if anyone will volunteer to help you move. It may be uncomfortable to ask for a volunteer or two from your congregation to help you move, but you need the help, and you cannot ignore the problem. God has a plan for you, you just have to keep moving one foot in front of the other and if putting that plan into motion requires that you ask people to volunteer to help, then do it.
Create a Tribe
It’s important that you find support. Join a volunteer group at church to get your mind off the situation and find friends. Become more active in the church. Find counselors that have had a similar experience and that are willing to share their experience with you to help you on your journey of healing.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. There are plenty of Christian counselors that can help you get through this time. It’s very important that you have social support. If it’s uncomfortable for you to turn to your church family, do a quick search on Google and you’ll be sure to find a plethora of support groups that offer help during these difficult times. With over 700 billion searches on Google in 2022, you’ll be able to connect with people in your area with similar interests.
Don’t Give Up Hope
This can be an awful time full of trials and tribulations but don’t give up hope. What you are feeling today will not last forever. No matter what the circumstances of your divorce, God will provide healing and better days are coming your way. Occupy your time with positive things that you enjoy doing. Do not rush into another relationship, give yourself time to fully heal, and reboot.
After a divorce you should take time to work on yourself. Become a volunteer for a ministry you have always wanted to be involved in. Spend time in self-reflection and prayer. Give yourself some grace and forgive yourself. Tell yourself that it is okay right now to feel whatever you are feeling, and don’t give up hope. You will walk through this situation with grace and come out on the other side better, stronger, and improved.
Divorce is hard, but it is can be especially hard on a Christian woman who may feel shame for the divorce. Divorce is not anything to be ashamed of. Find support, and believe that God has his hand in everything. There is a plan for you!